The Apology
by cell12
Summary: Cartman finally apologises to Kyle for calling his mom the biggest b*tch in the world but only because he thinks Wendy is even worse. Kyman.


I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

---

The Apology

---

"Hey Kahl!"

Kyle tried to ignore the shout of the person approaching him, he didn't really feel up to an argument with Cartman right now. Unfortunately he was carrying a bag of groceries and it was slowing him down enough for the bigger boy to soon catch him up.

Cartman stopped in front of Kyle - slightly out of breath, "Why didn't you wait for me?"

Kyle sighed - exasperated, "I've just been to the store for my mom," he half lifted the bag of groceries up to show Cartman, "you know how she likes me to rush straight home with shopping."

Eric Cartman nodded, he knew how much of a control-freak Kyle's mom was, "Forget that bitch I've got something important to tell you."

Kyle felt his hands tighten into hard fists, "I'm sick of you calling my mom a bitch."

"You're right," Eric Cartman was not known for admitting he was wrong, "Kahl I'd like to apologise to you."

"Why?" Kyle asked looking suspiciously at the larger teen.

"All these years I've called your mom the biggest bitch in the world," "I was wrong and I'm sorry."

"Really?" Kyle asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," Cartman scratched his head, "don't get me wrong - I still think she's a bitch. Just not the biggest bitch in he world."

Kyle was intrigued despite himself, "Who is the biggest bitch then?" He asked.

"Wendy Testaburger."

"What did she do?" Kyle asked mockingly, "Turn you down when you asked her out?"

Cartman looked a little pissed-off, "No, I turned her down."

"She asked you out?"

"Is that so surprising?" Kyle had to admit that puberty had done wonderful things to Eric Cartman. He had shot up in height and it had sucked most of his fat off him. Adding to that was the regime of sports he now played - football, basketball and martial arts - the fat-ass kid had turned into an amazingly well-built teen.

"OK," Kyle was still confused, "so why did you turn her down?"

"I hate the bitch, I always have," Cartman noticed Kyle's confused face, "because of the way she uses people."

"What do you mean?" Kyle thought he understood but he wanted Cartman to explain his meaning.

"You've seen the way she flits between Stan and Token," Kyle just nodded at Cartman's words. "She doesn't give a rat's shit about either of them. She dates Stan when she wants to be popular and kewl and dates Token when she wants material things like clothes and shoes."

Kyle couldn't help but see the logic in Cartman's argument, "Maybe," he said before he was cut off.

"Every summer she switches to Token just in time to go with his family to their beach house but when school starts up she's back with Stan in time to get the popularity boost of dating the school quarterback - so she can get voted president of all the clubs she's in."

Kyle tried to think back, could Wendy really be that manipulative? Over the years he had been so busy helping Stan get over his frequent break-ups that he'd never considered Wendy's motives. "So how does asking you out fit into this?"

"Last week when she tried to get back with Stan he turned her down."

"I know," Kyle smirked, "it was me who told him to. I think he can do way better than her and I told him so."

"Did you know that she has pure gold blackmail material on practically every girl in school?"

Kyle's jaw dropped open at Cartman's statement, "No."

"Yes," Cartman continued, "and she's made it pretty clear that both Stan and Token are off-limits for all the other girls. She wants to ride her two bitches for popularity and money until she leaves for college."

"How many people know about this?"

A few of her friends and all the girls who are being blackmailed - obviously," Cartman ran his hand through his soft brown hair, "I doubt the blackmailed girls fully understand the real reason though. Most of them think she likes both Stan and Token and can't chose between the two."

Kyle nodded, "That's what I always thought."

"Wendy's not stupid, she knows it was you who has talked Stan into turning her down."

"She's pissed at me?"

"Very," Cartman's agitation was making him sweat and he instinctively rubbed his palms against the sides of his jeans, "she wants you taken down and put in your place."

"Is that what she said?"

"When I turned her down she admitted that she only asked me out so I'd help her destroy you."

"Why would she do that?"

"Maybe she thought I'd help out because everyone still sees us as enemy's. After I refused to help her she tried to blackmail me," Cartman's eyes narrowed, "me of all people."

"How?"

Cartman looked slightly nervous, "She has something of mine but it doesn't matter - it's her plans for you that I'm worried about."

"What plans?"

"Her friends are going to spread it around that you're gay and lusting after Stan."

Kyle's jaw dropped open. He was secretly gay and he used to have a crush on Stan. It was only recently that he'd learned to accept that Stan was one hundred percent straight and nothing would ever happen between them. He had genuinely wanted what was best for his best friend when he advised him to reject Wendy.

"Wendy's plan is to make Stan think that you talked him out of making up with her because you want to date him yourself."

Kyle ground his teeth - Cartman was right, Wendy was a total bitch, "Stan won't believe that - will he?"

"I think she wants to put enough doubt in Stan's mind so that he will ask you if you're gay or not." Cartman shrugged his shoulders, "Tell him you're straight and it all blows over."

"Even if I am gay?" Kyle was taking a big risk asking Cartman that question. The Fat-ass of a few years ago would have used any sign of weakness to taunt him mercilessly.

Cartman's eyebrows raised upwards, "You're gay?" Kyle nodded. "Shit, you kept that secret." He thought for a few seconds, "Lie to Stan - tell him you're straight."

Kyle shook his head, "I can't lie to Stan - he can tell."

Cartman's brows furrowed, "OK, admit to being gay but tell Stan that you've got a boyfriend."

Kyle answered automatically, "But I don't have a boyfriend. Remember Stan can tell when I lie to him." Kyle watched Cartman pacing up and down, he had a presence about him - like he commanded any space he was in. It was actually kind-of hot. Kyle shook his head, he wanted to think about something else - he remembered Cartman saying that Wendy had something of his, "What has Wendy got to blackmail you with Cartman?"

Cartman looked shifty, "She got hold of a song I wrote for my music class."

"How is that blackmail material?"

Cartman was blushing furiously, "It's kind of a love song, to a guy."

Kyle couldn't believe it, "You're gay too?"

"I dunno?" Cartman was looking down at his feet, "I've only ever liked one person like that, y'know, gay-like."

Kyle winced at the larger boy's words, "Does she know who the guy is?"

"No, thank fuck. If the bitch had that information my life would really be over."

Kyle nodded, he knew what it was like being gay in high-school. "What are you going to do when she outs you to the whole school?"

"Deny it, of course," he grinned showing his teeth, "I'll tell everyone that I stole the song from some girl that had posted it on-line."

"Won't the teacher know you're lying?"

"Sure but she won't say a word - Ms Callahan is great like that."

"Who's the person you like Cartman?"

"I can't tell you."

Kyle thought about the way Cartman had been acting towards him recently, "Is it me?"

Cartman didn't answer instead he turned to leave.

"Answer me damn-it!"

"I've got to go Kahl, if I can think of anything to help you with Stan I'll call you, OK?" Cartman's voice sounded choked up - as if he was about to start crying.

Kyle wasn't satisfied with that answer. he ran after his retreating friend and grabbed him by the shoulder spinning him around, "Well?" Kyle was shocked to see the tears streaming down the bigger boy's face, "Eric," he whispered softly.

"Please don't hate me Kahl," he said between sobs, "I know that I've no chance of you ever liking me back after all the shit I've put you through but," he paused to take a deep breath, "I can't stop thinking about you."

"How long have you liked me?"

"A while," Eric snorted and swallowed before wiping his eyes with his sleeve, "I used to spend my time thinking about new ways to make you suffer but the last few years," he stopped mid sentence.

"Go on."

"The last few years when I think about you I just imagine myself holding you and kissing you." Eric cringed backwards - like he was expecting a blow, verbal more than physical. When nothing happened he cautiously opened one of his squinting eyes.

Kyle seemed to be processing what the larger boy had said, "I know what to say to Stan when he asks me if I'm gay."

The shift in topic confused Eric, "Huh?"

"I'll admit that I'm gay and tell him that I'm seeing someone."

The grin on Kyle's face was making Eric feel slightly nervous, "I thought you said you couldn't lie to Stan?"

"Idiot," Kyle replied, grabbing Eric around his shoulders and pulling him in for a kiss. As they walked off - Eric with his arm wrapped tentatively around Kyle's waist - Kyle asked, "So when do I get to hear this love song you wrote about me?"

---


End file.
